Quickly Learn Everything You Need To Know About EMDR
What is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR for short?
EMDR was originally designed by Francine Shapiro in 1987 to treat PTSD. Over time, EMDR was expanded and adapted to help with additional things such as anxiety, depression, and addiction. I first learned about EMDR as a client doing it, and its effectiveness inspired me to become a certified EMDR therapist so I could use it to help more people.
I discovered EMDR as a client, not a therapist, and it helped me process in weeks what talk therapy might have taken months. I remember thinking, and still marvel at how EMDR targeted memories from my past that need to be processed, which I had no idea were still lingering.
Sometimes, the memories seemed harmless and at other times they seemed so long ago that I wondered how they could still be affecting me… but they were, and EMDR helped.
How does EMDR work? The ultra-quick version:
- List your top ten worst memories.
One by one, at a steady pace, shift memories from long-term memory to working memory. - Process these memories and sever the emotional ties from past.
- Shift the memories back to long-term memory as a processed memory.
- When similar situations come up you can more easily think and feel without your emotions from the past spilling into the present.
How does EMDR work? The detailed version:
EMDR is a processing therapy that shifts memories from long-term memory to working memory so you can look at them from different angles. Memories that are stored in your long-term memory stay mostly intact, unable to be processed. An unprocessed memory is like a photograph, where you only see what the camera focused on. This can be a serious problem for your brain because, like a photograph, you only capture a small part of the whole event. Working memory helps expand the lens so you can see all parts of the picture, which lets you see new details about past memories and effectively process them. Ultimately, EMDR lets you think about your past in new, healthier ways.
THE OTHER, SNEAKY REASON EMDR WORKS SO WELL
The other, sneaky reason EMDR works so well is because all distressing psychological symptoms are a form of trauma but not all forms of mental health counseling treat trauma. Trauma is not what happens on the outside world, its what happens on the inside world. When we need counseling, we really need a form of trauma counseling. Otherwise, our brain would have processed the event and our nervous system would have moved on within a short period of time. This is why EMDR, and other trauma therapies like Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, are great at helping with a wide range of mental health concerns. EMDR directly addresses how our brain stores, processes, and heals from traumatic events, which is really any event that you haven’t naturally processed.
I wrote all about trauma being on the inside versus the outside and if you want more information, you can find my blog post about it here: YOU WOULD KNOW IF YOU EXPERIENCED TRAUMA, RIGHT? 2022 UPDATE
How does EMDR help people and kick ass?
EMDR helps by reducing the intensity of negative emotions surrounding a memory through bilateral stimulation. Bilateral stimulation is a fancy way us therapists describe when both sides of your brain are working at the same time during a therapy session. There are several techniques to achieve bilateral stimulation, from watching a light go back and forth to tapping on your knees.
You need bilateral stimulation!
Bilateral stimulation reduces anxiety and stress associated with a memory (imagery/emotions/sounds/feelings) that would otherwise be too intense to safely process. Bilateral stimulation also causes a distraction. This distraction helps people feel more grounded and prevents them from slipping into the memory and re-experiencing it. The goal is to feel as though you are watching the memory from a distance or on a TV screen, so you do not relive or re-experience the intensity of the memory.
What does EMDR Treat?
EMDR is not issue specific–it is a therapy that works to adjust how the past affects the present. It has also proven effective with all sorts of other problems to include:
- Low self-esteem and low confidence
- Difficulty making decisions and procrastination
- Anxiety (medical anxiety, dental anxiety, everyday anxiety, low level to high level anxiety)
- Panic attacks
- Eating disorders
- Substance abuse
- Sleep problems
- Grief
- Depression
- Phobias
- Upsetting childhood events
- Anger issues
- Difficulty with parenting your children
- Boundary setting with friends or family
- PTSD and trauma
Wait, I thought EMDR was only for trauma?
Well, EMDR was originally designed for trauma and PTSD by Francine (I like to pretend we were on a first name basis). But, EMDR has evolved since it was developed and now treats a wide variety of symptoms and presentations. The other reason I really like to promote EMDR as more than just for trauma is the vast majority of people who have trauma don’t know they have any trauma at all!
Big T versus little t trauma:
Most people know what Big T trauma is. It’s the… well… major and significant traumas that we usually associate with the word trauma. Car accidents, rape, molestation, major and significant wounds or health issues, war, and violence. But, almost everyone has some form of trauma just not Big T trauma.
What most people have is little t trauma and people usually will not report these situations as affecting their lives today. Things such as being yelled at over shamed as a kid, the affects of drinking or drug use, bullying, divorce, watching your parents fight when you were a kid, being in the ICU as a baby, or having a parent or parents that were over attached to you or not attached enough. Almost all clients who I work with and have these scenarios report that they aren’t big deals and couldn’t possibly affect them today.
Well, not so fast. In fact, these small t traumas cause the same affect on your brain overtime as Big T traumas. Want to learn more about trauma? Check out my other blog post about trauma here.
Using EMDR to shed effects of your parents:
I commonly use EMDR is to help clients shed the effects of parents who might have been perfectly good adults… but not good parents. Many adults in these situations find that they cannot trust their judgement, believe they need to be perfect, believe they cannot make mistakes, or have difficulty keeping relationships. Most people in these situations believe they are at fault and that their parents tried their best, but they couldn’t “be good” or there was something wrong with them.
Its not about blame, but it's OK to put responsibility where it should be place.
EMDR helps to re-look at these memories and address where the responsibility should be placed. For example, if a child is a “difficult” child, it is up to the parent(s) to seek help, adjust parenting styles, and shield their child from their own parental shortcomings until they can adapt to their child’s specific situation. When this doesn’t happen, children usually believe it’s their fault, but nothing could be further from the truth. As the child grows into adulthood, those thought patterns morph and become incredibly difficult to trace back to their origins. That is, unless you use EMDR, which assumes the present is a construct of past learned experiences.
In this situation, people address the topic of whether they deserve a parent that could meet their needs in tough moments, whether their parent’s punishments were deserved given the situation, and what might be different if their parents had taken time to do repair work when the inevitable parenting fail happened. Looking at these aspects helps people feel in control, that they can trust their judgement, and that good people sometimes do bad things or make mistakes as they become aware that what happened to them in childhood wasn’t their fault. Once processed, the emotional ties are severed, which helps when situations arise that make people feel like their child self– but instead, are able to stay in their best adult self.
You want another example of EMDR? How about a video of it in action!
About this video:
In this video, you will see Dakota working on a memory she had from when she was a teenager. The memory is one of a cluster of similar memories in which her mother would lose control of her emotions and call Dakota irresponsible and forgetful, and cause Dakota to feel panicked and stressed. This memory, and other similar memories over the course of many years, linked the feelings of panic and stress to any time Dakota perceived she had made a mistake, was irresponsible, or was forgetful.
Even small, inconsequential mistakes could cause Dakota to cycle through long bouts of stress, anxiety, and self-criticism. This made it hard to feel like her adult self and she often described feeling like the same child who her mother yelled at when similar situations happened in her current day life.
How EMDR helped Dakota:
EMDR has helped her stay grounded in her adult self and she can remind herself that she is allowed to make mistakes, can learn from them, is a good person, and is able to move on with her day without being consumed by stress and panic.
A special thanks to Dakota:
I want to give a special thanks to Dakota who is my friend and another therapist! She agreed to make this video to demonstrate EMDR. The memory is real, though this is not the first time she has worked on this memory or issues related to her mother. Bravo Dakota, it was awesome of you to volunteer for this video to help others better understand EMDR!
I love EMDR!
Remember, people aren’t born into the world with an issue; it typically develops over several years, or, even, an entire lifetime of experiences.
Like my post on EMDR? Check out Kendall’s post on trauma! Kendall has a private practice in Loudon and I find her absolutely fabulous.
Are you a mother with looking for specific treatment related to motherhood? Check out Sarah Hagen!
Looking for a teens girl group? Check out Stephanie Brown!