Keys to Building the Sound Relationship House with Gottman Institute Methods
Why I love using The Gottman Institute materials in Couples Counseling: Science-backed and Effective
Why do I love using The Gottman Institute materials in Couples Counseling? As a Pragmatic Therapist, because it works. The Gottman Institute builds on years of systematic research into what makes good relationships work and what works to heal damaged relationships.
Gottman Sound Relationship House: An Introduction and Explanation
The Gottman Sound Relationship House is a tool for visualizing how to build a strong relationship. Take a look, then see below for more details.
Sound Relationship House: Build a Strong Foundation of Friendship—How Well do You Know Each Other?
The foundation of the Sound Relationship House is forming a solid friendship: Build Love Maps, Know One Another’s World. A Love Map is a detailed exploration of your partner’s world: their likes, experiences, strengths, challenges, relationships. Knowing and understanding your partner is an ongoing project. As you both grow and change, you continue to learn more about yourself and about your partner. This knowledge grounds the relationship. The stronger your Love Maps of each other, the sturdier your relationship house foundation will be.
Sound Relationship House: Build Sturdy Walls as you Earn Trust and Develop Commitment
Walls of the Sound Relationship House are Trust and Commitment. Trust is earned, Commitment is developed. You learn to trust each other through consistently paying attention, following through desired behaviors, and treating each other well in honest and meaningful ways. You develop commitment by prioritizing the relationship and each other, by making time and space for the relationship, and by honoring each other.
Sound Relationship House Floors: Add Floors to Your House--Fondness and Admiration, Turn Toward Each Other, and Develop and Maintain a Positive Perspective
The Sound Relationship House floors build upwards from the foundation of Friendship, supported by the walls of Trust and Commitment. Build your Sound Relationship House as you practice sharing fondness and admiration, then learn to turn towards each other instead of away from each other, and next, develop and maintain a positive perspective for each other and the relationship.
Sound Relationship House: Don’t Pull it Down, Learn to Deal with Conflict by Managing Emotions, Communicate with Skill, Practice Listening
All relationships must learn to deal with conflict. An individual doesn’t even agree within themselves all the time, how could we expect to be in continuous agreement with our partner? We learn to manage conflict as we learn to manage our own emotions, learn better communication skills, and practice listening to each other. Not all problems have a solution. Sometimes we learn to accept disagreement, to compromise, to agree to disagree, or to work out a work-around.
Sound Relationship House Top Floors: Higher Levels of Supporting Each Other’s Dreams and Creating Shared Meaning
We build strong lower levels of the Sound Relationship House to develop the skills and experience to support the lofty upper levels: Make Life Dreams Come True and Create Shared Meaning. Partners work together to support each other in achieving their dreams. Partners invest in their relationship and work together to honor their visions and values in creating shared meaning.
How Do You Build Your Own Sound Relationship House? Relationship Building and Support
Partners can work together to create long-lasting, sturdy, fulfilling relationships. The Gottman Institute has decades of research, experience, and training to achieve these goals.
So, where do you start? It all depends on where you are!
New Relationships: Develop Good Relationship Habits from the Start
A new couple can use Gottman Relationship counseling to develop good relationship habits from the start. The materials help you and your partner get to know each other better while learning communication and conflict resolution skills. Starting off well helps build a stronger relationship over time.
Established Relationships: Refresh and Renew Trust and Commitment, Strengthen Important Relationship Skills
A long-term couple can use Gottman Relationship counseling to refresh and renew their trust and commitment to each other. You can grow together instead of growing apart. Time and experience can be used to strengthen your trust and commitment instead of wearing them down.
Troubled Relationships: Learn to Repair and Heal Damage, Rebuild Friendship, Repair Trust and Commitment, Develop and Strengthen Relationship Skills
Couples in distress can come to Gottman Relationship counseling to learn how to repair and heal the relationship. The average couple comes to counseling six years after starting to experience trouble. Why wait? The longer you allow the damage to continue, the more work it takes to rebuild. Start counseling when you become aware of issues to save time and money. Waiting and hoping for things to change on their own can lead to disaster.
What Kills Relationships? Meet The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling
Gottman Relationship counseling is well-known for identifying the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” the relationship signs of serious trouble. These signs: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling; are well-researched indicators of the relationship that may not survive.
What Saves Relationships? Bring in The Antidotes: Gentle Start-Up, Take Responsibility, Build a Culture of Appreciation and Respect, Physiological Self-Soothing
However, each of the Four Horsemen has an Antidote. Learn to use the Gentle Start-Up instead of Criticism. Take Responsibility instead of hitting back with Defensiveness. Build a Culture of Appreciation and Respect rather than treating your partner with Contempt. Don’t hide behind Stonewalling when you feel overwhelmed, learn to soothe your nervous system with Physiological Self-Soothing.
You can learn to work differently within yourself and with each other. Use the Antidotes to vanquish the Four Horsemen and build a healthy relationship. Allow the Four Horsemen to continue, and you’ll be looking for a way out of the relationship.
Take Action to Build, Support, and Repair your Relationship: Develop the Skills to Build your own Sound Relationship House with Gottman Couples Counseling
Relationships are important to us as human beings from birth to death. We connect with each other in so many ways, learning, working, growing. Couples look to each other for love, companionship, teamwork, and more. It takes courage to reach out for help when things go wrong. Gottman Institute training has given me knowledge and techniques and helped me develop experience and encouragement to meet you where you are and help you move toward a satisfying relationship. That’s why I love using the Gottman Institute materials in Couples Counseling. Reach out to build, support, and repair your Sound Relationship House today.
